


Teasing Means We Love You, Irritation Means You're Still Alive

by HSavinien



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Egyptology, Gen, Historical References, M/M, Podfic Available, Post-Canon, Team Bonding, Team Feels, Teasing, Threats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:06:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26009989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HSavinien/pseuds/HSavinien
Summary: Joe tells Nile a story from their past and teases everyone in the process.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 280





	Teasing Means We Love You, Irritation Means You're Still Alive

"Okay," Nile said, pointing at Joe with the hand holding her iced coffee. "Favorite low key job, go. There's got to be  _ some  _ like that. It can’t all be shootouts with, I don’t know, traffickers and neonazis."

“Of course, easy. The archaeological dig for Cairo University in ‘36.” Joe leaned back, crossing his ankles.

Nile squinted at him suspiciously. “1936, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“‘Of course’ nothing,” she grumbled. “You guys have to start using full years. It’s hard enough to place your anecdotes as it is.”

Nicky grinned at her pique, but buried it in a cream danish when she stuck out her tongue at him.

“This was a project for Selim Hassan, the professor in charge of Egyptology. He’d had some trouble with looters the previous year and knew me from my visits to the University,” Joe said. “He asked me to find him some guards, so I introduced him to Nicky and Booker and we kept an eye on things while they worked. They were excavating around the Sphinx and nearby temples.” 

Nile sat up straighter. "The actual Sphinx?"

Nicky nodded. “It was interesting. We got to see some of the temple art as they uncovered it. Sometimes it’s nice to see something so lovely and so much older than us.”

“Andy had been off solo for a while, you see, so we were missing beautiful antiquities,” Joe said, straightfaced, then ducked, but not far enough to evade the raspberry that splatted against his cheek.

Nile laughed at him, and at Andy’s rolled eyes. “So, what I’m getting out of this is that you were the semi-respectable visiting scholar and Nicky and Book were your white boy thug friends.”

“Exactly.” Joe grinned and wiped his face. “My reputation never recovered.”

“Selim liked me,” Nicky said. “We talked about fortifications.”

“Selim thought you were sweet and your theories surprisingly bright, and he was pretty sure he understood why I spent so much time in the same tent as you,” Joe told him fondly.

Andy laughed. “Nicky, it wasn’t the first time you were mistaken for Joe’s bit of rough trade.”

“He did not think that,” Nicky protested. “I regret ever telling you he was handsome.”

“He did, my love, despite my efforts. He told me it was very Greek of me. And he was handsome,” Joe agreed. “The mustache was over-exuberant, but he was quite a good-looking man. And clever. Selim had the excavation team clear the whole plateau the Sphinx sits on of sand, but there was no other way that wouldn't have led to cave-ins and deaths. Like a big housekeeping project,” Joe said meditatively. "I was glad to be a guard instead of an archaeology student for that."

“I honestly can’t tell if you’re still telling the truth or you’ve started making shit up to see if I’ll believe it,” Nile said. She tossed her cup in the trash and stole the berries back from Andy.

“Oh, this is nothing,” Joe said. “I didn’t even mention the immortal heroes and the boon of Anubis that one of the temple hieroglyphs described.”

“ _ Now _ you’re definitely shitting me.”

“You’d better be,” Andy said sharply. “You could not seriously have forgotten to mention a reference like that to me for a century.”

Joe only looked at them, wide-eyed and limpid.

“Yes, he’s joking, please do not murder him, Andy,” Nicky said, breaking first. “The boon of Anubis is only to be buried properly in the Western Desert.”

“Nicky,” Joe pouted.

“Finish your breakfast and don't tempt Andy to violence. I do not wish to clean your blood out of my clothing when it’s unnecessary,” Nicky said fondly.

“And draw me pictures of some of the tomb art,” Nile said. “I want to see.”

**Author's Note:**

> Several of Selim Hassan’s many books about his archaeological discoveries can be accessed here in English: http://www.gizapyramids.org/static/html/authors_list.jsp#H

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Teasing Means We Love You, Irritation Means You're Still Alive](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26792329) by [greedy_dancer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greedy_dancer/pseuds/greedy_dancer)




End file.
